remember back to the days
When you and I were all each other needed. I wonder everyday if I made the right choice. Or even, if this is how things are supposed to be. Sometimes, I lay awake at night, still thinking of that day, wondering if I’ll ever get the chance to see you again; and if I don’t — I wanted to tell you that, that day, was one of the best days I’ve ever had. Throughout my sixteen years on this earth, there are very few that I clearly remember — that being one of them. I remember everything, and although it might not have been the most ideal thing to you, to me, it was so special. I remember exactly what you were wearing, I remember exactly how you smelled, I remember exactly how your eyes looked, and the way I felt when you grabbed my hand. I remember our first kiss, and how scared I was. God, how I miss those eyes, and those lips. You were so perfect, and so sweet — I was a tangled mess, not knowing what to say nor do. I can picture every moment with you that day. The tears that filled my blue eyes the moment you let go of my hand and crossed that street. I thought to myself, ‘My life, will never be the same again without you.’ Letting go was the hardest thing I could have ever even imagined. I never wanted to. And now, I realize that in the long run, thats what I did. I still love you, and miss you, and the days of waking up to your sweet voice. Everything. I miss texting you every night before I went to bed, thinking to myself that you’re the only person I want to say ‘I love you’ to, every night. Then waking up in the morning, and wishing you a great day. I miss wishing to spend my days with you, and that you would love me — every night on 11:11. I wished for you; every night. I miss that day, I miss our long conversations, I miss our love, I miss you. I still wish for you, and I still lie awake at night, trying to hold back, from texting those words ‘I love you’ to you once more. You were everything I wanted, and so much more. I was a crazy, mixed up girl, and I had no idea how to handle someone, who could give me so much love. You still mean everything to me, and I know that deep down in my heart, I will always love you. You will always be someone that I can run to, and always be someone I count on. I love you, Christian.
