give me wings

I mean it

you know what you are to me
don’t make me say it over and over again
it’s way too late
or much too early
you know how I get
when I’m left alone to my vices
like the grown-ups did when I was a kid

I said: I’m a bird in your hand so take me as I am
you know what you are to me
don’t make me say it over and over again
my left hand, a part of me
it stays late to clean up my mess
when I’m sick of all my choices
like the grown-ups I grew up with

angels and addicts
when I put my arms around you
I mean it
when I’m too drunk to stay up with you
I mean it
when I slam doors ‘cause I’m pissed at you
I mean it
when I put on a suit and say “I do”
I mean it

you know what you are to me
don’t make me say it over and over again
over and over again(x12)

you know i love you

I wish I could take back every bad thing I’ve ever said to you, or all the hurtful things that have streamed from my mouth.  It was never you, it was me.  I’m a sullen girl on most days, and I get frustrated with such little things, and begin to forget what is falling from my head, down through my mouth.  You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I’m never going to deny that.  I truly have never loved anyone until you- and I know that now.  As I’ve said before, from time and time again, whenever I say that I’m fine, I’m not.  Whenever I tell you that I don’t care, that’s usually what I care about most.  I won’t try to do these things to you anymore.  You never deserved them.  My perception was just off, and I couldn’t see as clearly as I should have.  I love you so much.  I long to hear the heartbeat in your chest, as I rest my head upon you.  I’m still in love with the plans we had made, and I hope one day, if you’ll have me, I will move in with you and things will be perfect.  You mean everything in the world to me Christian.  Please just try and stick through this with me.  I know that I’m a bundle of ups and downs, and I’m sure I don’t help your stress level much- but sometimes love does that to you.  It literally drives you crazy.  I live and breathe everything you are.  Sometimes I forget we are two separate people; that other people exist, that the world is spinning, that I have to breathe, that love ever existed before you.  Everyday we grow together, we continue to change for the better.  We’re in this together, you’ve made my life and made me as I have you.  I love you with every cell in my body.  Forever, until the stars fall from the sky.

you make me fall right back where i left off

I finally realized, no matter how many times I say I don’t care.  I do.  How many times I said I’ve moved on, and I’m fine.  I lied.  I’m finally realizing that this feeling is never going away inside of me, and I don’t know how to help that.  You stole my heart away.  Period.

no turning back

“i want to wake up next to you, i want to take care of you, i want to laugh with you, i want to do everything with you. i want to make you feel like the most important girl in the world; because that’s what you are to me. i’m happy whenever i talk to you. whenever i see a picture of you, i get butterflies, even thinking of you makes me happy. i love you.”

found this today, made me think a lot.

god i miss you.

2:43AM

Webcam sex tonight.

Hahah, no but really.  I love you, tonight is just what I needed.